My Life My Way:
living life on my own terms.
Somatic Therapy &
Empowerment Coaching
for women ready to believe they can, and will.
In-Person Victoria, BC, Canada
On-Line anywhere
Are you living your life the way you want to?
Yes? No? Sometimes?
What does your ideal life look like?
Does your current life match that ideal vision?
What needs to change to make it happen?
And do you believe you can change it?
Welcome to My Life My Way
Here we take an honest inventory of what is working in your life right now and what isn’t.
We ask self-reflective questions to help you uncover what is important to you.
We discover what your authentic self really wants.
We acknowledge what needs to change, then we envision the kind of life you want instead.
And, most importantly, I support you finding the courage to make it happen.
Yes you do have courage deep inside, even if you think you don’t 😉
If thinking about making life changes feels overwhelming, I got you.
For most of us, change can be scary - even when we really want it.
But it doesn’t have to be when you have a plan, a guide, and support.
Being stuck feels like you are physically drowning in mud and emotionally confused, exhausted
or overwhelmed. You want to move on, but you can’t and don’t know why.
The feeling is far too common in women over 50 who have lived a life they were told to live,
instead of a life they wanted. All the while silently struggling with unhappy relationships,
unfulfilling careers, being uncomfortable in their own skin and never feeling like they belong.
The thought of continuing the status quo for the next 20, 30, 40 years is becoming unbearable.
Here is a snapshot of some of their stories:
Debbie age 61 ~ Victoria, Canada
"I am struggling emotionally because even though my life is okay, I know it could be so much better.
I am not really happy and I know I need to change my self image and relationship, but I don’t know how
to go about it as I feel stuck and nothing I have done so far has really worked.
I feel like I must be doing something wrong because other women seem to be able to make changes
and move on with their life … am I broken?”
“I don't want to admit it but I have regrets and wish I would have lived my life differently”.
Michelle, age 58 ~ Calgary, Canada
“I wonder sometimes if this is as good as my life will get.
I look in the mirror and see all the obvious signs of aging in my face, neck and hair, no matter how much money I spend on cream and serums. My eyes seem dull and I have more frown lines just like my mother.
I know I shouldn’t say bad things to myself but the voice inside my head is so critical of how I am living and I feel so negative about the future. I want to focus on the positives but just can’t seem to as my life is boring and repetitive .”
“I wake up in the middle of the night anxious about how old I am getting, and that I want to actually
live before I die.”
Mary, age 58 ~ Toronto, Canada
“I have done all the things that Oprah and Brene Brown say to do and yet I am not happy about myself or my life. I am ready to retire in a couple years but I am scared that I will have nothing to focus on other than my thoughts - and I don’t want to do that.
Since the pandemic I watch myself turning to wine and on-line shopping as a way to distract myself.
And even though I’m married, I feel lonely, and empty inside. Kinda not good enough and drifting
along, which scares me.
I need help figuring out what this next part of my life will look like.”
”With each year that passes I feel kinda numb and empty, like I am losing touch with myself.”
Sandra, age 52 ~ Newark, USA
“I look back at my life and daydream about the ‘what if’s’.
What if didn’t get married so young and traveled instead … what if I followed my career that was just starting instead of having kids … what if I married for love and not just the stability that my parents convinced me of?
I did everything my mom, grandma, and family expected me to do so I could ‘live a good life’ and make them proud. But I never felt like I got to choose what I wanted.
I always felt like I didn’t belong in my life but had to put on a happy face and pretend like I was having fun. But I wasn’t, and I don’t want to be ungrateful, but in hindsight my life hasn’t turned out to be the good life they promised me.
Somehow I have to find a way to live a life that I enjoy.”
“I feel like my life happened ‘to’ me because of what my family wanted, and I never had the opportunity to choose what I really wanted. How do I start living for myself?“.
Lorna, age 50 ~ Halifax, Canada
“I figure I only have about 30 years left and I want to make sure they are happy because it would be a shame to die sad with all the regret I am carrying”.
"I don’t like the life I’m living and want to
change but don’t know how”.
I am Dianna Lee Graves.
B.A.(Psych), M.AEd., CLC.
Mind-Body Therapy & Empowerment Coach.
My mission is to empower women over 50 to break free from the unhappy life script they have been following so they can create a life they love that is true and right for them (before it’s too late).
If any of this resonates,
I am glad you are here.
Even though life seems to pass by so quickly, you can overcome your fears easier than you expect.
You can change your life starting today.
And if you don’t do it today, when will you?
Click here to sign up for a free workshop on fear of ageing
Yes, it takes effort, as well as a willingness to put in the time to look within and make peace with your past.
But it’s worth it - being in a healthy emotional space allows you to learn how to create a life you want.
Imagine how it would be to wake up every morning being satisfied with your life
and feeling freedom in your soul.
Most women have followed a life script handed to them by their mothers, grandmothers, culture, religion, and society. They did what was ‘expected’ and are now unhappy, emotionally tired, and stuck in a rut.
They find themselves struggling with anxiety or depression because the life they have isn’t really the one they want.
It’s a life that was chosen by default and isn’t of their own making.
The script many women were told to follow often sounds like:
go to school, start a career, get married, have children, meet everyone’s needs with a smile, and then retire to enjoy your life. And because we were ‘good girls’ we did just that.
For many of us, underneath the life script is a life unlived.
Years of emotional suppression, frustration, and struggle are now showing up as unhappiness,
numbing behaviours, or physical illness.
The quiet desperation comes through the inner voice and confusing thoughts of:
”What about me, and my wants, needs, desires?”
“I did what I was supposed to do, so why I am not happy?”
“Looking ahead at the future, I feel anxious that I have more birthdays behind me than I do in front.”
“With my body aging and all my other worries, I don’t want to admit how fearful I am of getting older and dying.”
The 3 steps to live life on your own terms and create your life your way
Step 1
Where am I now?
How satisfying is my life?
What is missing?
Where am I stuck?
What is working well and not?
How can I change?
What do I change first?
How do I start when I feel a bit scared?
We take an honest inventory
and discover what you
want and need to change.
Step 2
How did I get here?
What past programming, beliefs, behaviours do I want to change?
Have I put the needs of others before my own? Am I a people pleaser?
Am I numbing my past wounds with shopping, meds, wine?
Do I believe I am good enough, lovable, or need to be perfect?
Who am I underneath this person I see in the mirror?
What wounds am I ready to heal?
With somatic therapy we change your beliefs.
With trauma-informed care we release
the little ‘t’ or big ‘T’ traumas that
you need to work through.
Step 3
What do I want instead?
What do I really want in my life?
What have I always wished I could do/be/have?
What do I want, need, value?
Who do I want to be?
What does my authentic voice sound and feel like?
How can I create and support the freedom I want?
We uncover the real you and create
an empowering plan for you to live
your life in your own way
that feels good and right.